depression

PTSD (poem)

Poetry

Experienced death but inexplicably living,

Pandora’s horrors felt all at once.

Masked delusions for protection absent,

No rosy lenses to watch film noir.

Body betrays you and invites in demons,

Terror sweats from every pore.

Pain and agony in every nerve fiber,

Proof of life is absence of death’s peace.

War cries and weapons waging,

Survival close to a sword’s edge.

Become dangerous or be killed by others,

Enemies cloaked in innocuous disguises.

Taming every system in revolt,

Untangle wires looking like hay.

Bang pushed to the end of the universe,

Come home to live in the self we created.

Waves (poem)

Poetry

Waves of depression break,

At the shores of my conscious awareness.

Oceanic mysteries drift,

Carried along by currents.

Flooding a desert reveals,

Sentiment’s intrinsic value.

Formerly disciplined by absence,

Returned to feel its presence.

Acute pain with decay,

Left to rot and fester.

Breathe in and choke on sunshine,

Learn to radiate like the stars.

Push it out and pull it in,

Cosmic light pulsing brightly.

Darkness swallowing the universe,

Become a beacon riding the waves.

Farewell (poem)

Poetry

Maybe at death we will meet again,

When nothing remains but our souls.

Maybe you never really loved me at all,

But everything from me rang true.

The caravan is leaving now,

We’re all packed and moving along.

The road ahead is dark and winding,

Destination to foreign lands inviting.

Maybe we gave each other reason to live,

After that our connection extinguished.

Transaction complete, order received,

Rate the service then proceed.

I can’t stop loving you even though,

I don’t think I ever really knew you.

The truth eludes me when it comes to you,

But I know I meant it, my love was true.

Despair (poem)

Poetry

Something instead of nothing,
Cursed instead of peaceful.
Thoughts of death comfort,
Quelling the turmoil as temporary.

Punished into existence,
Punching bag for the powerful.
Honor what’s been given without request,
Kiss the hand that beats you.

Can’t reach the gods to kill them,
Forbidden fruit of vengeance.
Scream loud enough so they hear,
I never asked for any of this.

Chains (poem)

Poetry

Delicate filigree,
Dainty little thing.
Shine for others,
But weigh down the wearer.

Concentrated mass,
Density pulling downward.
Sinking into hell,
Looking like an angel.

Commercializing pain,
Constructing injuries for attention.
Ride the waves of trauma,
On the backs of true survivors.

Wear your burdens proudly,
Jewels burn into flesh.
Fingernails like diamonds,
Slicing up the fakers.

Lashes (poem)

Poetry

Teardrops falling,
Whips keep chasing.
Weights attached,
Legs keep pumping.

Bruised flesh,
Ripped skin.
Fused with the burden,
Anchor in the chest.

Fluttering eyelids,
Keep out the dust.
Sandstorms brewing,
Squint through the clouds.

With a single blink,
You’ll feel the force.
My pain rains down,
Slice through this mess.

Scar (poem)

Poetry

They scream at me,
From my side.
Their voices embedded,
In my flesh.

The lives that life forgot.
Pain with nowhere to go,
Turned inward,
Exploding organs.

Numbed sensitivity.
Infected callous.
Pierce the skin,
Let the sorrow ooze.

Their deaths are overlooked.
Their stories, rewritten.
I’ll live to spite you.
I’ll make it for myself.

We need you, soldier.
The war rages on.
Your experiences, our artillery.
Your agony, our weaponry.