Virgin (poem)

Poetry

Anticipation sends shivers,
Fated moment has arrived.
Foreign feelings to consider,
Hoping it wasn’t lies.

Uncertain of progression,
Waiting for a sign.
Impressionable susceptibility,
Playbook getting written.

Blanks beg to be filled,
Information awaiting.
Answered questions to share,
Or buried deep as a secret.

Kiss and don’t tell,
Be gentle in the night.
Set the tone for forever,
In a moment’s burning light.

Farewell (poem)

Poetry

Maybe at death we will meet again,

When nothing remains but our souls.

Maybe you never really loved me at all,

But everything from me rang true.

The caravan is leaving now,

We’re all packed and moving along.

The road ahead is dark and winding,

Destination to foreign lands inviting.

Maybe we gave each other reason to live,

After that our connection extinguished.

Transaction complete, order received,

Rate the service then proceed.

I can’t stop loving you even though,

I don’t think I ever really knew you.

The truth eludes me when it comes to you,

But I know I meant it, my love was true.

Messiah (short story)

Prose

Gather around children, and let me teach you how to hate.

Former prophets have led lessons on how to love, to have compassion, to be magnanimous and altruistic. These are, indeed, integral aspects of a human’s emotional needs during its life. They are part of the structure of our emotional nature.

But so too, is our human propensity for anger and hatred. Misdirected, these emotions can result in catastrophe. Yet ignored, these emotions don’t cease to exist, and it would be folly to expect them to. They continue to generate in response to the natural world we occupy. How, then, is the right and proper way to conceptualize the appropriate position for anger and hate in our wide-ranging emotional lexicon?

Love is for connection. Anger is for protection. And permanent threats to safety receive hatred. They are meant to be eliminated. There are things in this world you want to get close to, and other things that need to stay far away. Allow these emotions to guide you.

But unresolved trauma can distort your emotional reactions to situations. You must always maintain a reasonable mind. Never stop trying to make sense out of chaos. Sometimes this effort requires great stillness for your cognitive faculties to operate effectively.

Learn to discern the truth with your empathy. Understand the world as it is, first, without imposing how you wish it to be, yet. Eliminate your attachment to your self when you regard the world, to avoid distorting it with your own subjectivity. Project your mind into the minds of others; experience life as if you were them. Their truth feels as valid to them as yours does to you. You can learn their blind spots, and in the process, your own as well.

Ideologies are easier to hate than people, because usually, people are perpetually changing. But also, you can hate someone until they change. Don’t let them into your life until then. Pay attention to personality and morality, which is the wiring that controls the way a human relates and behaves.

Humans have a need for consistency. Stability and security is a human need. Don’t rely on other humans to provide that to you. That would be folly, because it is against their nature. Seek it in small, sustainable ways. This is your foundation to stand on.

Cast your eyes broadly to the causes of human suffering in this world. There are many valid things to hate, you need only choose. They are vast and wide. So many attacks, resulting in so many wounds. If you don’t heal your wounds, they multiply, like a virus. Either the disease will take over your body or it will spread to others. You must not allow this to happen. Because harm compounds.

Heal others, heal yourself. These simultaneous duties inform each other. When you pursue them both mindfully, the resultant synergy expedites your progress in each endeavor. Your power will grow, your impact will hit heavier. And the tilt of this planet’s axis will shift closer to that elusive concept of justice.

Letter to Young Me

Prose

If you feel like other people are selfish and lacking empathy, you are correct. People like us do human development backwards. Before we can develop our own ego, we must build our empathy and ability to cast ourselves into the minds of others. It’s how we survived.

But when the time comes, when that danger is behind you, you can focus on developing your ego. You will learn to be selfish while others are still figuring out how to be selfless. You’ll be building yourself from scratch, while it appears everyone else is already complete.

Will I ever stop feeling different? You must have wondered that a million times. You will never be like most people. You will always be a minority. That’s a state of existence you must accept about yourself. But you aren’t destined to be existentially alone. In that elusive intersection between you and other people, when your paths to development overlap and intersect, you can feel connection so powerful it will make your soul soar. But you must seek it. Such treasures do not hide in plain view.

You are special, young me. You are a treasure. Many will want to plunder you, but some will want to cherish you. Such is our blessing and curse.

It’s a strange, liminal place to be. Being able to relate to almost everyone but pretty much no one can relate to you.

Shutter (poem)

Poetry

Sensitive to light,
Watering without volition.
But the warmth of the sun,
Soothing the eyes.

Taken for granted,
Nightfall comes quickly.
Cold breeze blows through,
Still clarity of moonlight.

Expect next day’s rising,
But stars give no guarantees.
Vastness of the cosmos,
Dependent planetary systems.

Supernova explosion,
Silent in destruction.
Sleeping in darkness,
No awakening anticipated.

Twilight (poem)

Poetry

Roused from a dream,
Uncertain of reality.
Ghostly presence,
Fading from its haunting.

Gripped by passion,
Suddenly absent.
Passed away in the night,
Dead by day’s light.

Utopian skyline,
Shadows cast long.
Ideals float upwards,
Lighter than breath.

Buried in dirt,
Bodies burnt to ash.
Gravestones memorialize,
Love’s last longing.

Blink (poem)

Poetry

Eyes start to water,
Vision becomes blurry.
Misunderstood image,
Camera obscura.

Longing for clarity,
Yet change might emerge.
Loss within the churn,
Halted by anxiety.

Slowly turn blind,
Paralysis in stasis.
Extraneous eyeballs,
Curse of sight.

Shut the eyelids,
Tears stream down.
Dare not look out,
See a new world.