loneliness

Paradox (poem)

Poetry

Living in a world where everything is fine,

Know me and contradict what’s known.

End the paradox by choosing a reality,

Then shut me out as incompatible in it.

Windows to others constantly closing,

They know you until they don’t anymore.

Persist in darkness, friendless and alone,

Everyone tells me I don’t exist though.

Forgotten as soon as they meet me,

To know me is to reject me.

Yet I still long for love’s gazes to touch me,

Understanding me without leaving me.

People like me aren’t deserving of care,

Even though we needed it the most.

Too abused for anything but neglect,

An unpleasant reminder of evil.

Vacuum (poem)

Poetry

Incessant thoughts wonder whether,

You sought me out for love,

Or simply to turn the tables.

When you left me abruptly,

Was I spared by providence,

Rescued by a spark of moral conscience?

Did you ever intend to return,

To rectify the hate you left behind,

Or have you abandoned the farce?

Duplicitous faces blur together,

Habits of deception all around,

Can’t tell which is real.

Heavy in my belly,

Giving birth to sadness and despair,

Twins to warm me in the absence of a star.

Special (poem)

Poetry

Your needs aren’t typical,
Your thoughts, unconventional.
Eyes, they say, distorted,
They call you a freak.

Your buses are shorter,
The masses, they jeer.
You’re locked in a cage,
While they all go free.

Try to be like them,
Resented regardless.
Go it alone,
Viciously attacked.

No allies for the special,
Charity case at best.
They know what you are,
So why don’t you?

Tell yourself lies,
Conforming is best.
Sick in a sick world,
It’s how it has to be.

Until you find your tribe,
Queerdos just like you.
Driven into hiding,
But seeking you all along.

Banal (poem)

Poetry

These outbursts bore me.
Typical patterns emerge.
Jigsaw puzzles of pathology.
Frankenstein’s disgrace.

Crudely constructed imitations.
Burning effigies grotesque.
A mob formed against me.
Torches threaten and excite.

Imagined intimidation.
False threat clear as day.
Martyr her corpse.
Paint over her features.

Feed me your hatred.
Transmute in my belly.
Spit fire to spite them.
These dull human creatures.