cptsd

Aliens (short story)

Prose

One day, Amelia woke up in the company of aliens from another planet.

She had no memories of her life before she started living with aliens.

Their language sounded like English aurally, but they couldn’t communicate since they were creatures from different worlds.

Even though they lived in the same spaceship, they lived in a completely different state of existence than Amelia.

They were all the same kind of alien. Amelia was the only human on the spaceship.

Did they perhaps think she was one of them?

She decided to blend in.

She learned to eat alien food.

She played with alien toys.

But secretly, she longed to be rescued by her own kind. She often gazed outside of her bedroom porthole, hoping for a glimpse of Earth. But she didn’t even know what she would do if she saw it.

Convince her alien captors to return her to her planet?

What if she blows her cover and they turn violent?

Should she chance it?

She knew she couldn’t stay, but even after living among the aliens, she couldn’t trust them. She decided to escape on her own.

She made her preparations, and when the chance presented itself, she took it.

She slipped away when the aliens were sleeping, and tucked herself and her bag comfortably into an escape hatch. She powered it up, took aim, and ZOOMED toward freedom!

At first, there was nothing but inky blackness. The vacuum of space was lonely, oppressive, and dangerous. It was a different feeling from when she lived with the aliens.

She pushed aside her feelings of fear, and kept her eyes moving back and forth, searching the darkness. Finally, she saw it!

A glittering blue ball with swirling milky clouds. Her home planet.

When she landed, she was embraced by members of her own kind. Fellow humans. Amelia wept with gratitude. She wasn’t sure this day would ever come.

It took some adjusting, but with the love, care, and patience of other earthlings, Amelia learned to live as a human again.

Sometimes she thought about the aliens, but she never wanted to live with them again.

Amelia lived out the rest of her days as a human on Earth with peace in her heart. Her memory lives on in those she impacted along the way.

Twin (poem)

Poetry

My twin star won’t guide me home,
Rotational energy throws us off-balance.
Stolen glances in a crowd betray interest,
But the bustling movement pulls us away.

Crushed with the burden of being the only,
Knowing you exist is enough to soothe me.
Soften my shell on a boulder in a forest,
Reluctant kisses leave shadows on my lips.

Sharing a mind and all its illnesses,
Amplify our energy beyond its threshold.
Unravel each other’s hurts like bandages,
Scarred and wounded bodies to inspect.

Stars paired with planets,
Split the galaxy into territories.
Radio waves pick up signals,
But my gravity won’t be distorted.

Paradox (poem)

Poetry

Living in a world where everything is fine,

Know me and contradict what’s known.

End the paradox by choosing a reality,

Then shut me out as incompatible in it.

Windows to others constantly closing,

They know you until they don’t anymore.

Persist in darkness, friendless and alone,

Everyone tells me I don’t exist though.

Forgotten as soon as they meet me,

To know me is to reject me.

Yet I still long for love’s gazes to touch me,

Understanding me without leaving me.

People like me aren’t deserving of care,

Even though we needed it the most.

Too abused for anything but neglect,

An unpleasant reminder of evil.

Farewell (poem)

Poetry

Maybe at death we will meet again,

When nothing remains but our souls.

Maybe you never really loved me at all,

But everything from me rang true.

The caravan is leaving now,

We’re all packed and moving along.

The road ahead is dark and winding,

Destination to foreign lands inviting.

Maybe we gave each other reason to live,

After that our connection extinguished.

Transaction complete, order received,

Rate the service then proceed.

I can’t stop loving you even though,

I don’t think I ever really knew you.

The truth eludes me when it comes to you,

But I know I meant it, my love was true.

Vacuum (poem)

Poetry

Incessant thoughts wonder whether,

You sought me out for love,

Or simply to turn the tables.

When you left me abruptly,

Was I spared by providence,

Rescued by a spark of moral conscience?

Did you ever intend to return,

To rectify the hate you left behind,

Or have you abandoned the farce?

Duplicitous faces blur together,

Habits of deception all around,

Can’t tell which is real.

Heavy in my belly,

Giving birth to sadness and despair,

Twins to warm me in the absence of a star.

Youth (poem)

Poetry

Grown up too quick,
Adulthood presses from every angle.
Body twisting around the truth,
Rigid and unyielding until its reveal.

Cursed in the shape of a tree,
Crooked and wailing into the darkness.
Frozen at the core of its trunk,
Yet rustling its leaves to communicate.

Gone too fast and never recovered,
Never well while still escaping truth.
Learned first-hand but stubbornly forgotten,
Fitting in with prescribed narratives set.

Before closeness with corruption,
Touching palms with decay and pain.
Discover novel wonders abounding,
Walk through portals to fresh possibilities.

Faith (poem)

Poetry

Maybe you’re just a pretty lie,
But your shape keeps me warm at night.
Even delusions help internally stabilize,
But collisions with reality can be fatal.

Imagine your presence here,
I’m not alone with these thoughts.
My protector’s with me in bed,
The predators circle from a distance.

Honeyed words spark suspicion,
Reminiscent of the devil’s deceits.
Her taint still lingers on you,
Clouded aura opaque as mud.

Future dreams remain a guidepost,
Domestic bliss awaits us.
Curtained by the present,
Bold caution moving forward.