Incessant thoughts wonder whether,
You sought me out for love,
Or simply to turn the tables.
When you left me abruptly,
Was I spared by providence,
Rescued by a spark of moral conscience?
Did you ever intend to return,
To rectify the hate you left behind,
Or have you abandoned the farce?
Duplicitous faces blur together,
Habits of deception all around,
Can’t tell which is real.
Heavy in my belly,
Giving birth to sadness and despair,
Twins to warm me in the absence of a star.
Grown up too quick,
Adulthood presses from every angle.
Body twisting around the truth,
Rigid and unyielding until its reveal.
Cursed in the shape of a tree,
Crooked and wailing into the darkness.
Frozen at the core of its trunk,
Yet rustling its leaves to communicate.
Gone too fast and never recovered,
Never well while still escaping truth.
Learned first-hand but stubbornly forgotten,
Fitting in with prescribed narratives set.
Before closeness with corruption,
Touching palms with decay and pain.
Discover novel wonders abounding,
Walk through portals to fresh possibilities.
Your needs aren’t typical,
Your thoughts, unconventional.
Eyes, they say, distorted,
They call you a freak.
Your buses are shorter,
The masses, they jeer.
You’re locked in a cage,
While they all go free.
Try to be like them,
Resented regardless.
Go it alone,
Viciously attacked.
No allies for the special,
Charity case at best.
They know what you are,
So why don’t you?
Tell yourself lies,
Conforming is best.
Sick in a sick world,
It’s how it has to be.
Until you find your tribe,
Queerdos just like you.
Driven into hiding,
But seeking you all along.
Brushstrokes layered,
Canvas still white.
Rough outlines emerge,
Essence elusive.
Sitting model fidgets,
Restless and bored.
Constantly shifting,
Blurring the image.
Set off for a moment,
Never to return.
Incomplete portrait staring,
Blank spaces to fill.
Interpreting visions,
Fairy whispers of truth.
Legacy everlasting,
Ugly pictures of you.
Place me high above,
Taller than the rest.
Forget I’m here.
Dust accumulates.
Object not human,
Don’t eat, sleep, or shit.
The air grows stagnant.
Atrophied lungs shrivel.
Just die already,
Useless to the rest.
Immobilized and ignored.
Languish on a shelf.
Perpetually unwanted,
Tried to give it away.
It’s constantly eating,
Work to keep alive.
Make it labor,
Leech with no worth.
Cost of raising a child,
Earn back with interest.
Fuck it for pleasure,
Exploit it for value.
Use and abuse it,
Burden of your creation.
Chiu on This 