ptsd

PTSD (poem)

Poetry

Experienced death but inexplicably living,

Pandora’s horrors felt all at once.

Masked delusions for protection absent,

No rosy lenses to watch film noir.

Body betrays you and invites in demons,

Terror sweats from every pore.

Pain and agony in every nerve fiber,

Proof of life is absence of death’s peace.

War cries and weapons waging,

Survival close to a sword’s edge.

Become dangerous or be killed by others,

Enemies cloaked in innocuous disguises.

Taming every system in revolt,

Untangle wires looking like hay.

Bang pushed to the end of the universe,

Come home to live in the self we created.

Waves (poem)

Poetry

Waves of depression break,

At the shores of my conscious awareness.

Oceanic mysteries drift,

Carried along by currents.

Flooding a desert reveals,

Sentiment’s intrinsic value.

Formerly disciplined by absence,

Returned to feel its presence.

Acute pain with decay,

Left to rot and fester.

Breathe in and choke on sunshine,

Learn to radiate like the stars.

Push it out and pull it in,

Cosmic light pulsing brightly.

Darkness swallowing the universe,

Become a beacon riding the waves.

Paradox (poem)

Poetry

Living in a world where everything is fine,

Know me and contradict what’s known.

End the paradox by choosing a reality,

Then shut me out as incompatible in it.

Windows to others constantly closing,

They know you until they don’t anymore.

Persist in darkness, friendless and alone,

Everyone tells me I don’t exist though.

Forgotten as soon as they meet me,

To know me is to reject me.

Yet I still long for love’s gazes to touch me,

Understanding me without leaving me.

People like me aren’t deserving of care,

Even though we needed it the most.

Too abused for anything but neglect,

An unpleasant reminder of evil.

Faith (poem)

Poetry

Maybe you’re just a pretty lie,
But your shape keeps me warm at night.
Even delusions help internally stabilize,
But collisions with reality can be fatal.

Imagine your presence here,
I’m not alone with these thoughts.
My protector’s with me in bed,
The predators circle from a distance.

Honeyed words spark suspicion,
Reminiscent of the devil’s deceits.
Her taint still lingers on you,
Clouded aura opaque as mud.

Future dreams remain a guidepost,
Domestic bliss awaits us.
Curtained by the present,
Bold caution moving forward.

Nature (poem)

Poetry

I go to nature,
To heal.
Mother Earth rocks me,
With her gentle rhythms.

Solitude in my womb,
Replenish lost energy.
Expansive air fills me,
Stretch the vessel encasing me.

Truth outside of conditioning,
Found in biological forms.
Emotion must follow nature,
Reason guides behavior.

Quell my rage,
Center my soul.
Anger sharp as a knife,
Protection in the world of man.

Horror (poem)

Poetry

Sublimate our fears,
Give shape to the monsters.
Shadow behaviors,
Illuminated on screen.

The world holds danger,
It even lives at home.
Survival situations,
Heroines lead the way.

When it all goes topsy-turvy,
Where will you turn?
We’ve lived this before,
Past lives in scenarios.

When you can’t call, “Cut!”
The actors keep pretending.
Trapped in a screenplay,
The horror is real.